It's 4 am, and the world outside my window is shrouded in darkness yet I find some peace in the quiet moments. As I lay here in the silence, a rush of emotions engulfs me, making sleep seem like a distant fantasy and a near impossibiltiy. Last night, during a video call with my husband, the air was charged with tension. It was a stark reminder of the sacrifices made in pursuit of my dreams and the fears in which still linger from time to time coming to challenge everything in which I know I am capable of achieving.
I remember the day we decided to sell our home. It wasn't an easy choice, but it was a necessary one. I had bet on myself, on my capabilities, on the dreams that whispered to me in the quiet moments of the night. The path I had chosen was not the conventional one, but I dared to dream, to step out of the shadows of doubt and embrace the uncertainty of the unknown. While my faith in my god given abilities unwaivers the fear of the unkown is what tends to scare the ever living shit out of me. When you focus on those things BOOM there they are to rear their head at you and make you face what it is that keeps you up like myself at 4am.
The conversations I had with my husband that night were filled with unspoken words, with undertones of anxiety and hope and a mix of what the fuck now. The road ahead seemed daunting, but it was paved with the fragments of the life we had built together. As the walls of our home echoed with memories, I realized that sometimes, in losing something precious, we find the strength to win back parts of ourselves we thought were lost. Those parts are forever worth any losses you may take during the building of a brand new identity one that has laid dormant inside you like some kind of child begging to be notice and cared for. The world will always encourage you to grow up but I beg to differ and ask is that child more true and honest than anything this world has shown you? The answer is yes, therefore that child deserves to be let out to play to experience and to enjoy the fruits of your labor and the freedom to make choices and have fun.
As the night stretches on, I find solace in the stillness around me. The darkness outside mirrors the storm within, but there is a glimmer of light, of resilience that refuses to be extinguished. The lessons learned in the quiet hours of the night are profound, shaping me into someone who is unafraid to take risks, to chase after dreams that others deem impossible.
In the heart of uncertainty, I discovered a sense of freedom that comes from letting go of the familiar and embracing the unfamiliar. The journey ahead may be filled with twists and turns, but each step taken is a testament to the courage that resides within me. The night may be long, but with each passing moment, I inch closer to the dawn of a new beginning.
As the first light of dawn begins to break through the night sky, I am reminded of the strength that lies dormant within us, waiting to be awakened by the challenges we face. The road may be arduous, but with unwavering determination, I am ready to forge ahead, to reclaim the dreams that once seemed out of reach. Pushing those doubts and those troubled waters out of sight and out of mind just as quickly as I have worked very diligently to change my perspective and the way in which I choose now to see my world.
In the stillness of the early morning, I find peace in the knowledge that every setback is but a stepping stone towards a brighter future. The night of dreams lost has transformed into a night of dreams found, illuminating the path ahead with a renewed sense of purpose.
Let the night be my witness as I embark on this journey of self-discovery and resilience, knowing that with each passing moment, I am one step closer to the realization of my dreams. As the world awakens to a new day, I too rise from the ashes of uncertainty, ready to embrace the challenges that lie ahead with a heart full of hope and a spirit filled with unwavering determination. Faith in which I can and will make a difference in this world. That my writing, my beautiful heart, and mind matter and the gifts I bear are not of coincidence but given for a purpose one in which I am no longer allowing myself to run from or be burdened by the what ifs, and the how's. Through the darkness of the night, true resilience emerges. As the sun rises on a new chapter, let us remember that the night of dreams lost can lead to the dawn of dreams found. Let us embrace the journey, for it is in the depths of night that we discover the strength that resides within us.